Secondly, I will touch on three different types of yachties but these are by no means the only types of yachties in existence and every type has its exceptions.
Snotty Yachty
The Snotty Yachty has money…. serious money. You rarely see the Snotty Yachty as they are usually too busy buying and selling small countries to spend much time on their shiny, floating apartment block. Their marina berth is surrounded in barbed wire. You try to make yourself feel better by convincing yourself, and anyone else that will listen, that “it’s just no fun when you have a skipper, chef and maid” pfffft!
Not-A-Yachty
The Not-A-Yachty lives aboard a boat but never, ever takes the boat out of its marina berth. The Not-A-Yachty is helpful and friendly. They will invite you over for coffee/wine/hash cookies, they will lend you a cup of sugar or an anchor (let’s face it, they don’t need it) but BEWARE…. The Not-A-Yachty loves gossip and within 20 minutes of downing 4 hash cookies they have spread a rumour to all other marina inhabitants that you rape and kill puppy dogs and keep their rotting corpses in your keel.
Grotty Yachty
The Grotty Yachty spends more time “on the hook” than in marinas. They bathe nowhere near often enough and are easily spotted by the wet patch on their arse from dinghy trips ashore to get rid of rubbish or collect water. In the event of unexpected visitors, the Grotty Yachty always has a couple of cold beers in the fridge and at least half a bottle of rum (in case of female visitors). The Grotty Yachty will get their hands dirty for you, go out of their way to do you a favour and would give you the grease covered torn t-shirt (usually the only one they own) off their back. The Grotty Yachty does not own shoes.
Are you are yachty? Which category do you fall into?
